Difficult... hellish... exhausting...

I would be thrilled to NOT BE experiencing the emotions pertaining the growth I'm going through...

Specifically, the emotions coming through about the sexual abuse I survived as a child. Man, I am really not liking it, but fighting it is counterproductive. No way out but through. The Courage to Heal has been a lifesaving companion through this process. I'm just at the beginning of my healing journey and already I can't seem to remember what it felt like to be the previous me. I know it will be worth it, but today has been really, well-- read the post title.

I seem to be a little more able to speak my truth though-- I can't be anything but glad about that. I wonder what the healing and healed me will be like... probably like most things, it will get much worse before it gets better.

Thank goodness I can just hang up my thoughts right there and say, "I'm only living just for today," or just for the next hour, or even just the next 10 minutes. I don't have to borrow from tomorrow. Whew, what a relief-- I don't think I could stand that burden right now.

Purging is a messy, messy business-- NOT for the faint-hearted.